A Day That Worked...

I have a list of things that I need to get done and I’ve slowly been checking them off my list. It’s been the status quo for most days never to go right and nothing much gets accomplished. It’s taken me about 3 weeks to get about 5 things done. There are still a few more things left to do.

Yesterday (April Fools' Day of all days) everything just worked out and I got things done. I had planned on doing other things on my list and was heading out the door when my roommate arrived back home from a morning meeting. She said that if I had time she could show me where I could buy the MP3 player with voice recorder I needed for my new language program. I quickly changed my plans and we headed to Nehru Place.

Nehru Place is like electronics central here. If you need anything electronic that’s the place to go. I had been there on my own and went to multiple places to see if they had an MP3 Player with voice recorder but never found one. If you can imagine a large mall and all the stores sell electronics but it’s not clear which shop sells what…that’s Nehru Place. My roommate took me to 3 different shops. One didn’t have it. The other two did! The one wanted a thousand more rupees for theirs. It was an easy decision. I was able to buy an 8GB MP3 Player with voice recorder for about $70. Not too bad. While we were there we went to the print shop which gives good deals if you need to print a large job. I have been needing to print out some material for my language learning projects but hadn’t found a printer that was reasonable in price. That was two things off my list in one day.

After that we stopped in and bought some nice fresh bread and then parted ways. I needed to grab a quick bite to eat and head to another market. I went to Khan Market. It’s your local market with a bit of everything. I usually go there for their cafes, butcher, fruit and veggies, and some more western type items such as toilet paper. Yesterday I needed meat for dinner. While I was there I bought some flowers. Beautiful!

I went home and made dinner. It turned out great. It’s the best success I’ve had in cooking since I’ve been here. All the credit goes to my friend Melanie who submitted a recipe for the contest. The rest of you have to be really good to beat her recipe. It was wonderful and my roommate really enjoyed it. Thanks Mel! I’ll be sharing all the recipes I try when I announce the winner on Memorial Day. Keep sending those recipes in. Tonight I'm making my friend Alisha's chicken and lychees.

In the process of traveling to and fro yesterday I had fair auto drivers who even used the meter! It turned out to be a very good day. I almost forgot. I had my first lesson with my new language helper.

With the help of a friend, I arranged it so that I went to the language helper’s house. That way I didn’t have to depend on her to show up. It was great. I learned so much. It was encouraging. It was also a great cultural experience. They live in the busty near my neighborhood. Let me try to explain what a busty is like.

Another word for busty is slum. The one my language helper lives in isn’t the extreme slum where the houses are made of whatever you can find. It is more established and was originally a village that the city grew up around. It's a maze of twisting alley ways that make finding the house an adventure in itself.

My language lives in a one room building with a concrete slab and plywood walls. They have a light and a small ceiling fan. They don’t have any running water. She lives in this one room with her 2 brothers, mother, and grandmother. It’s about a 15 minute walk and sits just off the freeway behind the crematorium across the nulla (big open drainage ditch).

Everything went really well. Her aunti and grandmother were there and half-way through our lesson one of her brothers arrived. He was a big help (his English is much better). Our lesson ended with the call to prayer. It’s a neighborhood where I need to wear a full salwar suit and cover my head. It’s a great place to learn language and culture. I get to help this family out both financially and honoring them by learning from them.

I had my first really good day.

Recipe Contest

I started receiving recipes. Thank you all for your lovely creations. I can't wait to start trying them on Monday. Some of you have emailed about ingredients not listed.

Yes, I can get

• peanut butter
• vinegar (white and balsamic)
• soy sauce (but it's soy based so I really shouldn't use it---note allergies)
• an assortment of lentils...but not so much beans (I only know of one kind and I'm not a big fan)

I'm not sure I can get...

• couscous
• chili powder ( I can make but not sure if they sell it in powder form)
• cayenne pepper
• avocado

but I will look and see. Still exploring the markets.

I can't use any form of alcohol.

If it's not on the list, please don't assume I can get it. Please ask. It might be that I just haven't come across it or it's way too expensive. I also must confess that I'm not a seasoned chef. Please don't assume I know things. Proportions are very helpful and measurements when possible are appreciated.

Thanks for your hard work and keep those recipes coming. I'll update this post with any changes depending on what I can find.

Your mission if you choose to accept it....

Your mission if you choose to accept it is to create recipes for me to try. I will announce a winning recipe and there will be a prize!

Here are the guidelines:

Ingredients need to be found here locally. Below are common everyday items I can find in the market:

Veggies and other Staples:
Green Beans, Broccoli, Zucchini, Baby Sweet Corn, Corn on the Cob, Carrots, Lettuce, Tomato, Eggplant, Mushrooms, Bell Pepper, Onion, Sweet Potato, Regular Potato, Rice, Eggs, Milk, Cucumber, Okra, Pumpkin (small), lime, lemon, butter, cheese, basic pasta (spaghetti, bow tie, penne).


Fruits:
Bananas, Coconuts, Mango, Papaya, Strawberries, Oranges, Apples, Pineapple, Pomegranate, Lychee, Pears

Below are everyday spices that are cheap and easy to find:
Ginger, Garlic, Curry Leaves, Curry Powder, Mustard Seed, Salt, Pepper, Cumin, Coriander, Cardamom, Bay Leaf, Caraway, Sage, Saffron, Basil, Clove, Sesame, Tamarind, Turmeric, Thyme, Mint, Chili peppers, Masala

A few reminders…
I don’t have an oven (or a Crockpot) I’m talking basic stove top cooking.
Serving size 2 (or 4 and we can have leftovers)
I do have a microwave.
If you include meat it’s got to be chicken or mutton.
Remember that everything is raw and nothing is processed (for example, if I use coconut it's a whole coconut that I must break, drain, remove the flesh, and then grate---it’s not sweetened).
I’m looking for simple and easy recipes.
I’m not looking for Indian recipes but a taste of home.

Allergies: soy

I’m also looking for recipes for homemade salsa, dips (like creamy j), BBQ sauce, sour cream, maple syrup, icing, whip cream, anything from scratch that doesn’t use pre-packaged stuff or mixes. Non-bake dessert ideas would be helpful as well.

I will be accepting recipes through May 1st. I will announce the winner on Memorial Day. I have to have time to try out the recipes!

Please email recipes to bluebonnets4jasmine@gmail.com

Have fun!

My Diagnosis Was Correct!

I went to the doctor today. I was expecting it to be a bit more adventuresome. Alas, it was pretty routine. I was able to find my way there pretty easily (getting back home was a bit more difficult and strange...that's another story). I have Dyshidrotic Dermatitis.

The doctor gave me 2 creams. One cream I have to put on the effected areas after I shower in the morning. The other cream I apply in the afternoon and then again in the evening. The doctor also gave me allergy tablets to take once a day with dinner. I have to use a special soap. I'm suppose to avoid all other soaps and detergents. I have to wear gloves when I do the wash and if I wash dishes. Now I just have to find some.

The doctor confirmed that it's genetic---thanks mom! It's also chronic. It will come back and I need to observe when it comes back in order to avoid the triggers (at least the ones I can control).

The story about coming home...

The rickshaw driver agrees to take me for a somewhat reasonable price. Then he just pulls over about a third of the way there. He waits for another driver to come along. Apparently he didn't know where he was going. He has me get out and the other guy takes me home. He wants a ridiculous amount which isn't decided until we're almost to my flat. As we turn into my neighborhood we get run off the rode into a pile of dirt and almost get stuck. It messes up his auto (poor guy) and we can't go but at a snails pace from there (I could have walked faster). I bear with him and pay him his ridiculous rate b/c he's going to need it to fix his auto.

Something to ponder...

What does it say about a culture when they don't have a word for maintenance?

Hindi Alphabet

People have been asking what the Hindi script looks like...here you go. This is my alphabet chart with words and pictures to help me associate the letter and sound with a word that I hopefully know.

Where I Live...

Here's where I live. My flat is on the first floor (2nd in American terms). Go up the stairs and go to the left.

Here's the view as seen from our balcony.

This is what you see when you enter the flat.

Here's the side profiles.

That's our living and dinning room. Spacious!

Here's the view from the other side of the living/dining room. That's our comfy chair. It's a great place to curl up with a book or relax and watch a movie.

Here's the kitchen...it's one of those great hole in the wall places=)


Here's our typical marble sink. Be careful the drain doesn't get clogged. When you unclog it you might have a flood at your feet (especially if the lower drain is clogged). Make sure you scrap your plate clean!


Here's our lovely cabinets!

Our three range stove which runs off of propane (usually delivered by a man on a bicycle)

If you look at the top right hand corner you can see our stove. It doesn't work at the moment but we'll have it fixed soon. We do have a microwave hiding in the left hand corner!


Here's our very rare fridge with freezer. I was definitely not expecting this. Especially one this big. Beside it is our supply of water which we must use for anything that goes into our mouths (cooking, drinking, brushing teeth, etc.) We can only use the water from the tap to wash dishes, clothes, and ourselves.

Here's my bedroom....





My side of the room and the guest bed.


This is my bedroom window. It's great for keeping the heat out but I guess the view lacks something to be desired.


Here's where I keep my clothes and other things (mine's the one on the right).




Here's my bathroom.....


Here's half of my bathroom. Yeah! for a western toilet. I was expecting a squatty. The white bucket with the cup on the floor is what I use to take a bath when I don't use the shower in my roommate's bathroom.

Here's the other half of my bathroom. This is why I don't have a proper shower in my bathroom.


Here's the lovely view from my bathroom window...



Here's the shower in my roommate's bathroom. I included the famous geyser (which is pronounced geezer) which allows us to have hot water for our shower.

The bottom & top pics fit together (sort of)

That's my flat. I hope you enjoyed the tour.

Dyshidrotic Dermatitis

Dyshidrotic Dermatitis is what I’m pretty sure I have developed on my feet and hands. It actually started back home in May. Yes, 10 months ago. My doctor thought it was a fungus infection but after four rounds of antibiotics, salt soaks, and a steroid anti-fungal cream nothing much has changed. I did some research and talked to my mom (who has a form of dermatitis) and have come to the conclusion that I have inherited this from her. My older sister has it and my mom’s older sister has it as well. It has to do with chemical reactions in our bodies.

Basically, I develop small blisters on my hands and feet. They itch really bad and spread quickly if I don’t pop them. I did find out that you are supposed to pop the blisters to keep it from spreading. It’s not contagious. The blisters are under the skin and make the area feel tender and sore. After the blisters are drained the skin dries, flakes, and then falls off.

It’s a chemical reaction. Various things irritate it. Most soaps, detergents or fragrances make it flare up. Cutting up acidic fruits or veggies and even raw meat can cause blisters to form. Exposure to nickel such as in money, computer keyboards, cocoa/chocolate, whole grains, and nuts can aggravate it. Changes in the seasons can either help clear it up or make it worse. Certain medicines (one which I take) can prolong it. As always stress is a factor.

Some people get it once and it goes away forever. Other people have it on and off for their entire life. It can get extreme enough to where one can’t use their hands or feet. So far I have a mild case and am going to the doctor to see what they suggest for treatment here.

Some treatments are simple creams and/or powders. Others are oral medications. For extreme cases they have UV Light therapy. The key is to keep your hands and feet dry and away from irritants. I might end up taking an allergy test. I’m hopeful that there will be something that will help me take care of my hands and feet and prevent infection.

If you are interested in more info, here are two websites I found:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyshidrotic_dermatitis
http://www.skincarephysicians.com/eczemanet/dyshidrotic_dermatitis.html

Out of the Mouth of Babes!

I chatted with my mom the other night when she informed me that I live in heaven. Here’s the story....

My mom was driving with my two nieces (ages 7 & almost 4) in the car when she overheard one of them say, “Christy’s in heaven.” My mom was in shock and asked, “What do you mean?” My youngest niece explained, “Christy is going away for a long time and we can’t see here. She’s in heaven.”

Then when I skyped them my youngest niece said, “Christy’s calling from heaven.” Good to know these things. I’m sure India will be reflected in heaven but I’m pretty sure India itself is not heaven. It’s got its own charm and beauty but I’m hoping for a lot better than this.

Cooking 101

You would think that if you took the same ingredients that you use at home to make a dish then it would come out the same here, right? NO! Tomato puree tastes different here than in the States so one needs to season it differently. In fact, tomato puree is better left not used for any recipe from home. But what do you use instead?

I think my answers have been solved. I was given a cookbook today filled with recipes from the States but using local ingredients. The substitutes and variations on measurements are there. It includes everything from fun drinks like Orange Julius to main dishes like enchiladas and desserts and sides and dips. It’s wonderful. I will no longer have to just make stir fried veggies with some sort of meat. The cook book also gives spice info including the Hindi name.

In addition to the cookbook I have been able to watch my friend cook all week which has given me helpful hints on easy preparation of a variety of Indian dishes. She’s also given me nifty ideas for snacks, lunch, and breakfast. A lot of thinking outside the box and trying new combinations.

It’s been good to hear the struggles of her first year here. It apparently takes 3 to 6 months to really learn how to cook. No wonder so many people higher cooks!

We’ve also had great conversations about the struggles of the first year. It takes time to adjust and it’s a “job” in itself. Other than adjusting and learning Hindi my support system is really encouraging me not to get anxious about “doing” anything. I think I’m starting to embrace this more and more. It really does a number on your identity. I’m definitely not competent at much here. It all makes you reevaluate your values and priorities.

It’s just good to know it’s all normal and one day I will be able to function as well as my friend and her family. I must give it to them. All of them have dietary restrictions. This week with me thrown in none of us could all eat the same thing but we still ate very well.

I discovered that my friend and I both have IBS. This can be a challenge to manage back home but change your entire diet and see what it does to you. She was able to give me some very helpful local remedies. One of them I’ve used back home (peppermint oil) and it helps. In certain circumstances I need something more powerful. That’s where Psyllium Husk comes in. It worked magic on me. I haven’t been this regular since before my IBS meds were taken off the market. I had been able to manage it with peppermint oil and special yogurt in the States but the yogurt doesn’t seem to be working here. Psyllium Husk is basically a type of fiber. You just put a couple of teaspoons in some water or juice and drink it. It’s peppermint oil in the morning and psyllium husk at night

Holi: The Festival of Colors

Holi is the festival that marks the beginning of “spring.” What it really marks is the beginning of the HOT season. Indians will tell you they really only has three seasons: Hot, Wet, & Cold (at least where I live). We are transitioning into the Hot season.

Holi lasts for two days. The legend behind Holi is as follows (from what I understand):

Legend says that there once was an evil king whose name was Hiranyakshyap. He had forbidden anyone to worship anyone else but him. His son, Prahlad, went against his father and worshiped Lord Vishnu. Hiranyakshyap had a sister named Holika. She was given a boon not to be harmed by fire. Hiranyakshyap convinced (or demanded) his sister to take Prahlad into a bonfire. (Another version says that Prahlad was asked to put Lord Vishnu to a test and willing sat in the fire with his aunt.) Lord Vishnu saved Prahlad and allowed Holika to die in the fire. One the first day of Holi, people recreate the bonfire and burn large Holika figures in honor of Lord Vishnu saving Prahlad.

On the second day of Holi, people spend the day throwing colored powder and water at each other. It’s supposed to ward off sickness caused by the weather change and commemorate the colors of spring. Lots of children start throwing the colored powdered several days before the actual festival.

In reality, Holi is also the time when people let loose and forget social rules. They party, drink, and get a bit wild. I’ll have to tell you what that looks like later.

From Life Sucks to "Light Bulb" Moments

You know those life experiences that you know are going to be hard…moving out on your own for the first time, marriage, having kids, retiring…any transition really. It doesn’t matter how prepared you are intellectually for these events or what wisdom those who have gone before you have given you nothing but experience can really tell what that hard feels like. And it sucks. I’m sorry, I didn’t get that quite right…IT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That basically describes my life Thursday through Monday. No details necessary. Some things are best left unsaid/untold. Today was quite opposite of the suckiness. It was a “light bulb” day. It was one of those days where things just sort of clicked. Hindi class seemed easier (manageable). I met with my language helper for the first time and I think it’s going to be a good thing. I explored a new market. I encountered a store which I call heaven. I knew it would be wonderful because it’s where we get our cheddar cheese. Things really just clicked today. I felt successful and was actually thriving instead of just trying to survive the day or next task. Sometimes it does feel like I’m on the show The Amazing Race or Mission Impossible…”your mission today if you choose to accept it…”

I can’t wait till Friday. Next week is a holiday here. My boss and his wife have invited me to come spend it with them. I will go there Friday. It’s about an hour from my house just outside the city. I’m just so excited to be with a family. They have two kids-a seven year old son and a nine year old daughter. I’ll get some kid time and adult time and girl time. I’m not sure what I’ll do with myself. It will also help me avoid a bad experience of being in the city during the Festival. I hear it gets pretty crazy. It will be much calmer at their place so I might actually get to participate in some of the fun. I’ll have another entry explaining the festival in a few days.

One Month/One Week

I’ve officially hit my one month mark. So far so good. I had an interesting week with a bunch of randomness. Let me try to make sense of it for you.


Monday I skipped class. I just wasn’t ready to face it again. I watched the Oscars instead and then went to check out a place we call CP. It’s basically this huge roundabout. It has shops in rings going out from it. I haven’t had a chance to check out what’s all there. It was good timing because my roomie could show me how to get to the nearest metro stop and I could get my rechargeable metro card before my mini-trip on Thursday. I was truly impressed. It’s as nice and efficient as any public transportation in Germany.


CP was okay. I didn’t enjoy walking around much. I’m not much of a shopper and I didn’t have anything I was looking for so I lost interest pretty quickly. I also seemed to be getting stared down more intensely and by more people than usual. I slipped into a coffee shop and read a book while my roomie met with a friend.


After her meeting, my roomie took me to the foam shop. I am so thankful for this foam. I was able to sleep through the night and wake up without back pain for the first time since I arrived.
Tuesday I went shopping for our weekly veggies and fruits. I found a café that served pancakes so I could celebrate Fat Tuesday. I studied Hindi and prepared for Ash Wednesday.


Wednesday was a very typical day. I went to class and came home. I studied Hindi, read and watched some mindless TV. I did get to chat with a friend who I haven’t talked to since June. She is among the few of my friends that ended up in KY somehow. They all live very near each other. It definitely makes KY a place I want to visit when I come back to the States.


Thursday was a little adventure for me. I was invited by an associate to have lunch. She lives over an hour away. I took the metro literally from one end to the other (maybe minus 2 stops). It was nice to be in a home and get to know someone new. I left there to go meet my roomie for dinner at a friend’s house.


This was when the drama began. I’ve only been to this friend’s house once in the day time coming from my place. This time I was coming from another part of town in the dark. I had a very stubborn auto driver. When we reached her neighborhood he wasn’t willing to listen to my directions. He wouldn’t go far enough down the street and kept turning around. Then he would stop and ask others on the street for directions. It just got a bit ridiculous. We finally reached the street where the friend lives and I asked the driver to stop. He wouldn’t because the entrance to the street states “no entry.” You can see the house from the entry and I just needed out and I could walk down the street. But he wouldn’t stop and kept driving into other neighborhoods to find a back way into this place. At one point (in a very shady spot) he almost kicked me out but this man convinced him that if he just followed the directions given we would find the house. I finally convinced him to get back on the main road and just drop me off and I walked to the house (which was right across the street).


After a very nice dinner we returned home exhausted. I crashed and forgot to turn my alarm on even though I set it. Luckily I got up in time for class.


My classes today were not good, great, and much improved. It apparently helped to have talked to the assistant director on Wednesday. My conversation partner is a sweet woman and a new teacher. I have great sympathy for new teachers. I lost it and instead of getting mad I cried. People here don’t know what to do with that. I tried to explain my dilemma.


I know I have gaps. A great part of that is missing the first 4 weeks of class (yeah, I figured out it was 4 not 3 weeks). I’m not sure what my gaps are. I know one is I haven’t learned what they call the matra which is like the alphabet song. There are random letters I still have difficulty recognizing and reading. I can split my vocab into three basic categories. Ones that I know/can produce/read, ones that I know/may or may not be able to produce/but can’t read, then the ones that I don’t know at all even if I can read them. I have studied the chapters multiple times. There are things that they have covered that are not in the textbook. Even if I studied the textbook it doesn’t mean that I understand it (even if I think I do). Today was a perfect example. (read further)


At the end of this conversation with my conversation partner asked, “Weren’t you here from the beginning.” Talk about gaps. Her solution was to go back to the first dialogue and read through the chapters. Ugh. Her assignment was for me to teach myself the matra by Monday. I think I’m going to need help with that which isn’t scheduled till Tuesday.


My grammar class was much better. I felt like I got a lot out of it. I recognized one of the things that I thought I understood but have really misunderstood. The concept has really been throwing other things off. I was able to talk to my grammar teacher about it during private tutoring. Tutoring was therefore more effective.


I went and talked to the head director. She understood my circumstance. She was also surprised about the level at which the other students are at but admitted there wasn’t much she could do. They only have one beginner class each semester. She did offer to give some new material to my conversation partner which if she covers will hopefully fill in some gaps. The first thing on the agenda is the matra. It’s really true that everything you need to know you learned in kindergarten=)


I went to my after school café, had lunch, and took a break to read my book. I realized I didn’t put the name of the book on my other post. It’s the City of Djinns. If you want to know about where I live you should check it out. It’s proving to be very insightful and is helping me understand my context within history.


Now I’m watching American Idol which was ruined by facebook posts. I just finished skyping with a very dear friend. I miss her and her family so much. Thank you Sesame Street and nap time for providing down time for a mommy to chat with a friend. Speaking of skype, I have an appointment to talk to my family pretty early in the morning. I should say good night.

Miracles Happen

I tried to sleep in this morning but I was up a 4:30am. I ended up falling back to sleep around 6:30ish and getting up at 9am. Not too bad. I got up and got ready for the day. I watched Annie while eating breakfast---that will put a smile on anyone’s face. I have several new places to go to this next week so I spent some time looking at the city map. Still getting my bearings. The map helps me match what I’m seeing to the larger layout of the city. Today was the first time I had the sense that I actually knew where I was. I’ve only been to this market once before. It was a great feeling. Much needed after yesterday.

The biggest surprise was the price I paid to get there. I waved down an auto driver and told him where I wanted to go. Then comes the usual question of ‘how much?’ and the haggling begins. But not today. The driver quoted the standard metered fare to this particular market. I clarified the price three times before I got in. I was so stunned that I almost couldn’t move. I was so happy I could have kissed the man. In my best broken Hindi-English I tried to tell him as I paid the fare that he was the first driver to not cheat me and I was very thankful.

Then I found a wonderful book store (yes, my greatest weakness). I only bought two books. One is a classic here (Tagore’s Gora) and the other is a book my roommate recommended to me. She says that if I’m going to live in this city that I must read this book. She’s right. I read the first two chapters and it made be so excited to be here. It inspires me to go and explore this ancient city and understand her soul. I was so tickled to find the first chapter begins in my neighborhood. It put a smile on my face and made me laugh. I so needed that day.

I also enjoyed a dessert which I don’t do on a regular basis. There aren’t any words to describe this ecstasy. If salvation came in a cake, I think this might be the way. It was this date cake with toffee sauce. It was hot and had a spicy twist to it. Oh, how I love toffee. If I was in the States I would definitely have been moaning aloud. Those who know me and how much I enjoy food have experienced this.

I came home (at a reasonable price), kicked back, and took in the news from three sources (BBC via Internet, local newspaper, CNN Nightly News on the TV). It was intriguing to see the various perspectives and differences in what was (and was not) reported. Now my roomie is home and dinner is almost ready. I think we are going to veg and watch old TV shows.

Hindi

My teacher wrote a poem and translated for us. I wanted to share it with you.

Hindi, I salute you.
Hindi, I salute you.
I love you so much
That I crossed the seven seas
Whatever the cost
As soon as possible
Become my tongue

Can I get an Amen? There’s something refining about learning a language. You are put through the fire and come out with a second soul. I just keep holding on to that thought.

Many times when we ask questions in class the teacher answers, “We will learn that in lesson x.” It’s so odd being back in a rote memory class style (especially while making the transition from being a teacher to a student).

It’s also been helpful to learn expectations. I have now learned that before we come to class we should have read the next chapter, learned the vocab and grammar, and be prepared to use the grammar and vocab. Yeah, I might as well be teaching myself…oh, wait…I basically am.

Language reveals a lot about a culture. Here are some discoveries about Hindi that are helping me understand the culture.

First, there aren’t any patterns to their numbers. In English we have 1-10 then some odd numbers like 11 & 12 but then start a pattern of ----teen. Then we name the 10s and add to it like twenty, twenty-one and so on. Then we repeat this pattern and put 100 or 1000 or whatever in front of it. Yeah, in Hindi every number is special enough to have its own unique name…no patterns. (Except Ordinals) Now I know why they round and have flat rates. When the number isn’t commonly used they say it in English. I’m sure there’s more to it that I’ll discover later.

A very important discovery was the use of very specific names for family members. There is a specific word for each person in the family. (Who you are and how you relate determines a lot around here) There’s a word for mom and dad. Then there are different names for sister depending on if they are younger or older. Same for brother. Grandmother/Grandfather is different depending on if it’s your mom’s mom/dad or your dad’s mom/dad. Even uncle and aunt. This is mind blowing. There’s a name to call your uncle who is the older brother of your dad. There’s another name to call your uncle who is the younger brother of your dad. They change for your mom’s side of the family. Aunt works the same way. There are at least 4 words for uncle and 4 words for aunt. Let’s not get into in-laws.

My teacher was helping me learn just the words that apply to my family. I was so thankful for having a very simple small family. I laughed (this is for you Ryan) when we started talking about brother-in-law. I said it was my older sister’s husband. She insisted that I added the honor ending “ji” (which I don’t have any problem showing my brother-in-law respect). Then the teacher found out he’s the same age as me and decided I didn’t have to. My brother-in-law has a month on me so I don’t mind (Ryanji).

I’ve found irony in this one word that I can never pronounce correctly. I always blank when I read it as well. The word is teacher. Yes, I can identify or say my own profession.

I did say something in class Wednesday that none of the other students knew. Why wouldn’t I know how to say Mujhe gulab jamun basant hai----I like gulab jamun (it’s a sweet here). I have to remember moments like that when I leave class feeling like a blundering idiot.

Hiding Under the Covers

It happened. I reached that point where I just had to escape. The only place I found that made the world disappear was under my covers, with the fan on, and my iPod playing in my ears.

I simply had just had it. I know it was brought on by being tired. We had a guest stay with us last night. She snored, tossed and turned, and was up and down all night. Considering her bed was just a yard away from mine---I didn’t sleep. My roommate felt so bad she let me take her treasured thermos full of coffee (she made) to class with me. Today was my long day. I never thought it was going to end. (Note: I also haven't been sleeping well in general b/c my back is acting up...hopefully that will be resolved this weekend when I go buy some foam.)

There is always noise here. The school is no exception (considering it’s located in a YMCA which runs a school for kids). Today was extra loud. First, there was this cat. It kept meowing and meowing and meowing and meowing and you get the point. I just kept thinking, “Please, kill the cat or take it out of the school.”

Then they are remodeling the school. They are literary tearing down cinder block walls with sledge hammers and jack hammers. It’s one thing when it’s three floors below you but today it was next door. I guess I’ll be more thankful when they are done with the new restrooms.

What made me just twitch and completely lose my concentration was what I think was the sweeper lady. Yes, sweeping. She was sweeping outside using a broom made of branches against concrete. The sound is much like fingernails on a chalk board.

To top it all off the smell at the construction site from a few weeks ago that made me vomit…oh yeah, it was starting to seep into our classroom from whatever they were doing from downstairs. It wasn’t as strong as the other place but it definitely was turning my stomach.

You put that on top of the stress and pressure I feel every time I go to class anyway and I was running out the door after my three classes today. What did I do? I went to the local café and finished my flash cards for the first nine chapters of my text book. Yep, that’s right. We are now on chapter 9. My grammar and individual tuition teacher keeps saying I need to catch up, know my vocab, review all the chapters, identify all the grammar I don’t get yet and ask about it when we meet on Fridays. I don't know what he thinks I'm doing, but it's obviously not good enough for him (not enough evidence yet that I've been frying my brain to catch up....it's just nine chapters in six days of class).

Do you know how many words are in 9 chapters? Almost 200 and most of them don’t overlap what I already know…what are the odds? I’m not even going to talk about the amount of grammar we’ve (sorry---they’ve) covered. But actually I found out that the original class was two couples who have studied before or have lived here for 10 years. They actually didn’t cover everything and they’ve had lessons that aren’t even in the book. Then another girl joined about a week late who also shouldn’t be in beginner Hindi. I was comforted when I found out that this other guy in my class came a bit late as well and is struggling too. He is about where I am. The others are so far ahead of us and the teacher has paced the class to their ability. Ugh. Some of them ask their questions in Hindi and I can’t even understand what they're asking. Really, we should not be in the same class. I asked about extra help and none of the teachers have any space in their schedule.

The teacher in me has flipped. THIS IS NOT HOW YOU TEACH SOMEONE TO LEARN ANOTHER LANGUAGE (at least that’s my opinion). My conversation teacher says I’m not speaking enough. (She did say I had good comprehension) I don’t think I’ve listened enough. I started working with my house help. It will be rough at the beginning (she doesn’t speak English) but I think it will be helpful in the long run.

It’s killing me not being able to do well. I’m sure I’m being harder on myself than anyone. I don’t even agree with their expectations but I have this need to perform. If I step back and think about where I truly think I should be then I’m doing ok. I say ok because there are some areas I am really slacking and some I’m doing really well.

The result of all this frustration was me needing to escape. I came home from the café and disappeared for two hours under the covers. It helped so much. I have now emerged and am writing this.

I must say there was irony to the songs that came on my iPod. It started with the soundtrack my friends made for me of my year in Germany. The first song---Somewhere Over the Rainbow. My family and close friends will understand that reference because my backyard is pretty big (right, mom?). What made me ever think this was my dream come true? Then John Lennon’s Imagine came on. I must have been a crack addict in a past life because that’s the only way this song would be comforting. I feel like a disillusioned hippie who went to India to find herself and then after arriving asked herself, “Why in the hell am I here?” I knew this was coming.

There are cycles in culture shock. The first phase is the honeymoon. Everything seems great. You’ve finally made it and it’s what you’ve always wanted. Then reality hits and you hate everything. I think I’m crossing over to that phase. I sort of missed the phase where I love everything here. Maybe I covered that in my first three trips which convinced me to live here. The part of that phase I’m not missing (and wish I was) is dealing with being an American here. That’s just something I won’t blog about. From past experiences I know this will resolve (hopefully sooner than later). I also know that it will probably get worse before it gets better. It’s a repeating cycle until you get resettled and that takes about a year or two. At least they're moments (or days) and not entire months yet=)

Faces

Something I've noticed in the short time I've been here are faces. There's something about a face. Looking at a face is like reading a story. The lines, the curves, the shadows, the wrinkles, the chubby cheeks, the thinness, the jaw line, the eyes, the lips. It all comes together to show you not only the past, but the present and future.

I'm the type of person who likes to look at people and smile as I pass them. Here it is culturally inappropriate for me to do that with men. So I have to censor who I look at. It's been an interesting challenge. I love the surprise looks I get from women and children when I make eye contact and smile. Some are terrified, others blush, and others pause for a second and smile back.

Another way I have experienced this face phenomenon is through skype. It is wonderful to hear people's voices but there's a dynamic change when you add a face. It means so much to see my nieces and not just hear them. I was able to see a good friend for the first time in about two years and I was overwhelmed to tears. Tonight I got to see my best friends and my godchildren. I could see the excitement on their faces as they talked to me. I was able to make faces at the baby and make him smile. It also helps deal with change. I remember coming back after being gone a year and my dad's hair had greyed and a bald spot had started. I was so shocked. Kids grow and change so fast. With skype I'll be able to see these changes.

I think faces are why we like pictures. I received a pic via email from a friend of a special group of people and for the past week all I've wanted is to see the faces of these people. I've replied to most emails this week with a request of pictures.

I love faces!

Sounds outside my door...

At any given time there are many sounds outside my door (or window). As I write this I hear the call to prayer along with a wedding band with each member playing their own tune. The veggie man is calling out "subzi" in hopes that you need some last minute veggies for dinner. Then there's the honking of horns. The small "beep, beep" of autos, the loud deafening car horns, and the ringing of the bells from cyclist trying not to get ran over and the rumbling of kamikaze buses mixed with squeals of taxi breaks. I can hear the freeway in the distance and the exhaust pipes releasing the fragrant incense that will make every sunset and sunrise glimmer in a foggy haze. There's the random chorus of dogs barking and children playing. I can ease drop into my neighbors' conversation (as they probably can and do ease drop into my conversations) and whoever is passing through the street behind my house. Then of course there's those random fireworks. There's the occasional ambulance siren. My favorite sounds are in the morning. I can hear birds (which I haven't found any reason yet to not like). It's not like the invasion of the birds where I used to live. Then sometimes I think I hear monkeys. There's the wonderful soundtrack of a Bollywood movie blaring from someone's car. It truly is a symphony to experience.

Addictions, Withdrawals, and Ramblings

This is the time of day when my brain is fried and I become stranger than normal=)
I just posted an Ode to Pepto. I love that tiny pink pill. My tummy is starting to make adjustments and my special friend is helping it transition.

I started forgetting my English. There have been several words yesterday and today that I just couldn't think of. I do know that I can read, write, and say my colors in Hindi. Very important.

I am starting to go through withdrawals...at least that's what I'm blaming my cravings on. I would love a plate of cheese enchiladas or enchiladas verde or empanadas or...you get the idea, rice, beans, chips, queso, how about some creamy j, and a Dr. Pepper. How about some Blue Bell to follow? Yeah, not happening. That's ok. I had a wonderful lunch of maggie noodles (ramen noodles) with left over tomato soup and grated cheese melted on top with toast. It is Tuesday night which means our house help made a real Indian meal. I will honestly enjoy that. Homemade rotis are a good substitute for tortillas. She made one of my favorite subzi (veggies)...okra masala. You can't have a meal without dhal (lentils). We are making some rice as well... not quite what I'd get at a Mexican restaurant but it is rice=)

Good news! I made dinner last night and it was more than edible. I made some broccoli sauteed in butter and fresh garlic, sweet potatoes, brussel sprouts, and I cheated and ordered Afghan chicken from a local place. If you ever come to visit, you have to try this chicken. It's so good!

I woke up this morning and realized that I've been here three weeks. ONLY THREE WEEKS!?! It feels like so much longer. Then I realized that 3 weeks is almost the half-way mark of the usual time I've spent here. Reality: 3 weeks is nothing in relation to how long I will be here. It actually made me feel much more gracious toward myself. I've only been in Hindi class for a week. I'm not sure what I was thinking. I'm doing pretty good for a week of class. I start working with my house help this week. After exams her daughter is going to help me with my reading.

My roommate again reminded me of the need to celebrate the small things and important markers. We calculated the day that would mark the day after the longest time I've ever been here....March 25th....that's 8 weeks and one day. Now I just have to decide what to do.

Ode to Pepto

My special friend
small and pink
makes my tummy happy
and let's the gas pass
My special friend
small and pink
turns my tongue black
and makes me relax
My special friend
small and pink
you are welcome
at every meal
My special friend
small and pink
I love you!

Fireworks, weddings, & dogs = no sleep

It's wedding season and we live near a wedding hall. This means wedding bands most nights to all hours of the night. I also saw a horse all decorated with flowers walking down the street. For some reason the past couple of days it also has meant endless fireworks. Fireworks that sound like guns going off randomly throughout the night. Each time they go off the neighborhood dogs decide to go off as well. These past two nights have been the first nights I haven't been able to ignore the "wonderful" noises outside our flat. Just as there isn't any space here; there isn't any quiet.

My brain is mush but I feel inspired (for now)...

Monday mornings are like whiplash. I spent most of Sunday sleeping or reading. My stomach is feeling not so normal. My roommate says it’s just adjusting. That’s a nice way to put it. She also warned me that I would inevitably be getting sick sooner or later. I’m just waiting for my bonding experience with my toilet.

Back to the whiplash. My roommate made me not look at my books this weekend because she said I needed a break. You never really get a break from language learning. I did need a break from the formal book study after the first week of class. I just did some conversation and asked for the Hindi name for tons of things. Being in class this morning gave me whiplash. I think that’s going to be the routine. Mondays I’m going to feel overwhelmed and blindsided but by Friday I will feel more confident and successful.

I went to my café and studied after class and came up with a plan. Of course, my ideal plan that I had made before coming was thrown out the window because of arriving late. As one of my favorite professors likes to say, “You live in plan B while aiming for plan A.” I am trying to make the most of plan B while trying to get as much of plan A in as possible. The revised plan is ambitious. It’s not meant to be done by my next class (Wed). Hopefully, it will compensate for being behind. I feel that it’s just my confidence that is lagging now more than anything else.

The Best Valentine's Day!

Today was wonderful. I woke up early to chat with my family on skype. My oldest niece had a Valentine to show me which she will be sending me. My grandmother and uncle were also there. I got to wish my uncle a Happy Birthday since his birthday is Tuesday.

While I was talking to them a good friend called and I arranged to call her back. After I talked to the entire clan I called my friend. It was good to see a friend. This particular friend I haven’t seen in years. We have managed to stay close over email and phone calls. She is one of those rare gifts in my life. I was thrilled to talk to her. I did miss getting to “meet” her little one. We’re arranging another time so I can meet him.

After that I went back to bed. This past week wiped me out. Language learning is so draining. When I’m in class my entire thoughts shift into German and Spanish. I spoke to my house help in German on Friday. Didn’t do much good. I’m improving a little bit every day.

I woke up about one in the afternoon and got ready for a Valentine’s picnic. My roomie surprised me with a small box of heart shaped cookies with red and pink icing. She spoils me. The picnic was so much fun. It was just a bunch of my roommate’s friends. I got to meet a lot of new people. We played silly games and had tons of junk food and tea. The weather was perfect and the garden was lovely.

Now we are back home and my roommate is cooking dinner. This is always a treat because my meals still lack much to be desired. We’ve had a quiet evening at home.

This has nothing to do with Valentine’s Day but it doesn’t need its own entry. I bought my first piece of furniture. It’s a nice cane bookshelf. It helps give me much needed space in my room. We found it in a market last night. It was a new market for me. I had fun exploring and found an alphabet chart and some children’s readers. Today in another market I found readers with both Hindi and English. So exciting!

Frustration

I hit my first wall of feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. When I went to bed last night all I could imagine was hiding under the covers and crying for the rest of my life. I really couldn’t bare the thought of getting up and facing the world the next morning, but I did. It wasn’t too bad. It was actually a lot better than yesterday.

You might wonder how this happened. First of all it’s normal. Everyone who moves to another culture has their good and bad days. It wasn’t like anything bad happened. It was just the tension of adjusting to life here.

I get around by auto rickshaw for the most part. The problem is the drivers like to cheat everyone but most of all foreigners. Over time I will know how much it is suppose to cost to get to different places and be able to haggle down the price but I will never be allowed to pay the fair rate. This is a reality that can be frustrating especially when you’re not in the mood to argue and don’t have enough language to haggle.

Getting around and doing anything is exhausting. One must realize that you will never accomplish as much as you did back home in any given day. Things happen at a much slower rate here. The fact that I went to language school, studied at a café, recharged the minutes on my mobile, picked up clothes from the tailor, and went and picked something from the office is a lot to do in one day. It took me about 7 hours to do all these things. I only traveled about 10 minutes from my house.

The other thing that hit me was my loss of immediate contact with friends. I just really want to pick up the phone and talk to some friends. It’s 3:30 in the afternoon here but it’s 3:30 in the morning for my friends. I don’t think they’d appreciate that.

I have another friend whose family is dealing with a health crisis. This friend and I were family to each other when we lived in the States. She is actually only 2 ½ hours different in time but we cannot seem to get a good, reliable, or affordable way to communicate. It kills me not being able to be there for her.

Learning a language has its ups and downs. It’s fun when you are getting it but it’s a headache when you’re not. Whether it’s going well or not it still makes your brain hurt. I’ve been trying to catch up on 3 weeks of language school. My brain is about to pop. Hindi is consuming my life. No matter how much I feel like I’ve accomplished when I venture out and start trying to communicate I realize how little I really know.

I have to keep intentionally reminding myself of the successes I’ve made. I made it to the office without getting lost. I made it back home and gave the driver directions the entire way (I had to convince him I knew the way first). I’m not sure if I should be proud of this but I was able to get the rickshaw driver to take me and refuse the others that were waiting before me (there’s no cue here, it’s who can convince the driver you’re the better deal). I was white and willing to pay more so I won. I guess I used my frustration of being cheated to my advantage. I found the tailor and a place to recharge my phone. I have made some progress in identifying the letters (especially the vowels) and sounding out words. I literally have to name these things to compensate for all the negative that I could focus on. It’s an everyday battle.

Space

I’m not sure I know what this word means. If there is any space the people here know how to fill it. You simply have to walk into any store or market to observe this. Take a look at the neighborhood and the houses and even the slums. Traffic operates the same way. This is why I don’t take the bus (too many people mean I get grabbed too many times). If you ever need help in packing or making the most of any space simply ask a local.

Beggars

Beggars are a part of everyday life here. There's a struggle to remain compassionate and not let your heart harden while not getting abused. If you give to one beggar then you end up causing a scene and can be mobbed. It can be a bit scary when you're alone. There are also people running scams. You really have to get to know the beggars in your area and discern who to give to and how to give to them. The hardest part is you're dealing with children most of the time.


I had an experience the other day that was different from past beggar encounters. I was with two other expats in an auto rickshaw. Being an expat you become a magnet for beggars because you're rich. We were sitting at the red light and about four young boy touts came to sell us books and other things. One woman tried to sell us incense but quickly left. The boys quickly understood that we were not interested in buying books. They were enjoying the conversation and it wasn't bothering us.

Then this young girl came up signing for food. I said no. Once you've acknowledged a beggar you are in for it. They have great persistence after being acknowledged. The girl began to rub my upper thigh with her left hand (which is considered unclean). This is completely inappropriate even for her culture. I pushed her hand away and said no and go away. That's when she dug her nails into my arm and started pinching me. If I wouldn't have been wearing a long sleeve shirt she would have drawn blood and she definitely left marks. I swatted at her hand and she ran away.

I immediately started rationalizing my right to swat at her hand. It just put me in a conundrum for the rest of the day. Was my response appropriate? I had to let her know that she shouldn't do that.

I'm struggling with how to interact with beggars. They are people and need to be treated with respect. I can't give to everyone. Even to acknowledge them sometimes puts me in danger. I just have to be sensitive to the situation. Be as gentle as a dove and wise as a serpent. What does that look like? I just think the most important thing is my heart. My hope is that living here doesn't harden my heart.

Animal Count

I've been keeping track of the different animals I've encountered. I started doing this to entertain a young friend (3 years old) who is enduring 28 days of chemotherapy right now. I thought you might want to hear about theses interesting creatures as well.

Dogs, dogs, and more dogs. They are everywhere. You can't escape them. Because of them I've learned the word "Jao!" It is the command form of the word go. These are street dogs that are not vaccinated. The dogs carry lots of disease. Because of the cultural beliefs they cannot be put down. At most NGOs come and pick up the local dogs and then fix them and vaccinate them and then release them back in the neighborhood. That's the best we can hope for.

There are cats (billies) here also. They love to get into your garbage. You must make sure you have a cat/rat proof lid. Yes, there are wonderful rats running around as well. That's a good reason to keep the cats around.

Bundar! Monkeys are also hanging out in your local neighborhoods as well. I've only spotted them a few times. You must be careful with putting things outside (like your laundry) or the monkeys will take it. Their our local thieves that you must watch out for.

When I went on a trip last week I saw camels walking the streets. Typically you seen them in the bordering state of mine. While I was gone my roommate saw an elephant (hoti) wondering the streets. These are common especially at weddings and can also be rented for birthday parties.

Other than that I have seen much of anything else other than bugs. I hope not to see the local snakes. I stay clear of anyone who looks like a snake charmer and has a basket=) I will keep you posted on any other intersting things I happen to see.

For those who know me well...

I have to tell this story for those who know me really well. This will make you laugh. It made me laugh.

My roommate wanted to show me one of her favorite cafes. When we entered the cafe we were overcome by a smell which we thought was from cleaning supplies. It's common to be overwhelmed by smells here but you usually get use to then after time). We went ahead and sat down and ordered. As we sat there the fumes became stronger and we started to feel funny. Then it hit me. . . I was going to throw up. I couldn't figure out where to go so I ran for the door and that's where it happened. Then I continued out the door and threw up on the side walk. Then I noticed I had an audience of business men on the first floor (2nd floor in the US) watching me. Did I mention this cafe was located in a 5 star hotel?!? I don't think I've ever thrown up on marble before.

My roommate took care of the bill (which they didn't make me pay for my meal) and came out. She said that the fumes were actually from the construction site nearby. She had other adverse reactions to the fumes like a strange taste in her mouth, burning eyes, and later it came out her other end.

After this incident she did say that she has never had anyone have so many weird things happen to them especially in their first week. Some of the things that have happened to me have never happened to her in her 9 years here. Yeah, it's always exciting to be me!

The other funny incident that happened today was in the bathroom. You have to understand my history with bathroom follies and how wet bathrooms can be here. The wash machine is in my bathroom. When the wash machine drains it goes out a pipe and onto my bathroom floor and then into a common bathroom drain. They don't always have direct links from devices to the drain (thankfully my sink and toilet do). Another example would be the kitchen sink. Water runs out the drain in the sink onto the floor which has another drain. That's just how it works here. Anyway, the drain in the bathroom is right in front of the toilet. I was trying to go to the bathroom before the wash machine drained...didn't make it. My shoes got wet along with the bottom of my pants. They dried in no time. It was a funny little incident that can only happen here.

Successes

It helps to name the small successes I've had in order to keep perspective. I wanted to share them with you.

I'm actually recognizing some Hindi and able to use context to interpret meaning.
I found my way to and from language school.
Made orders on the phone.
Been shopping for clothes, food, and a mobile.
Had a conversation with the house help. (in broken Hindi/English)
Gave a rickshaw driver directions to my flat.

Not too bad for the first week and being sick.

Still Sick and Miserable

I'm still sick and miserable but trying and coping. It just takes so much energy to do things here and I barely have any. I did manage to find my way to and from language school today. I'm venturing out on my own in a bit to meet my roommate at a market so I can buy a spike guard and hair dryer...oh, and lots more tissue!

I was thinking about how some things here I've seen before so I forget to tell you about them. I thought I'd take a second and describe the things you see one the roadway.

There's a variety of animals you can see here. I've seen lots of dogs and some cats. I saw some monkeys yesterday. There's also lots of cows that roam near my neighborhood. Not as exciting are the rats I've see. I saw a dead one yesterday when we were walking with just it's head and tail in place and the body missing off the backbone. I had to wonder how it go that way. It probably was someone/something's dinner (most likely someone's b/c of the way it was so nicely butchered. I haven't seen any camels or elephants yet (or snakes and I don't care to). There are lovely birds that wake me up in the morning.

Vehicles here come in many shapes. The slowest would be cycles (bikes). Cycles can be rickshaws or supply transporters. You would be amazed at the amount of materials (and people) Indians and put on a cycle. I most commonly ride autos (auto rickshaws) which are motorcycles turned into miniature cars. Then you have the common variety of bikes (motorcycles), cars, buses, and trucks. Mix in people walking and beggars on the corners and that's a typical Indian roadway.

I'm trying to take pictures of things like these and pics of my flat and will be posting them in the next few weeks. I'm heading out of town for the rest of the week. I'll have to catch you up later on any new adventures then.

Explanations

Mobiles are very similar to cells back home but some functions operate differently. It’s amazing how trained your hand becomes to the functions of the phone you are use to using. The first time my mobile rang I couldn’t figure out how to answer it. Only one button allows you to answer a call. Then I couldn’t figure out how to operate the text messaging. I couldn’t get it off the prediction text. Then I couldn’t figure out where the punctuation or symbols were. I kept confusing the keys for space and capitalization. I guess I have learned that no matter how familiar you are to something it’s always good to read the instructions thoroughly.

About the water. We have to fill our tank usually twice a day. That’s our water supply (if there’s water available). That water is used for flushing toilets, washing clothes, taking showers, washing dishes, and anything else you might use water for except for drinking. In the bathroom there’s a hot water heater that you heat water in before you shower. They call it a geyser and pronounce it geezer=)

Ugh, I hate being sick!

So I had a moment of frustration…ok, it was like a buildup of encounters that left me a bit frazzled.

First, I’ve been sick and in bed yesterday and today (Friday, Jan 30th). My host says it’s normal. I was pretty exhausted and the pollution here can get to you especially if you have any kind of allergies. There’s nothing like blowing out black snot. Most of the past two nights I’ve been hacking up my lungs and other gunk. This was accompanied with a fever and a severe sinus headache. Today after sleeping in till almost noon I was awaken by my mobile ringing. It was my good friend B. After a few sentences the call was dropped which I’m finding to be very common here. I couldn’t reach her after that. I was a bit bummed.

I got up and made myself some of my favorite tea that I brought with me. I snuggled into this nice chair and wrapped this warm blanket around me. I also enjoyed a delicious orange. I had a great afternoon catching up on email and my blog. Then I realize that my legs are itching. Yeah, we are pretty sure that the nice cozy blanket has been infested with some sort of bug(s). I have red itchy whelps all over my legs.

I changed over to the couch which I know is safe. I have to place an order for water and milk. Seems pretty simple unless you’re trying to figure out how mobiles and phone numbers work here. I couldn’t get any of the numbers to work. I finally called someone and they said that sometimes you can’t call landlines from mobiles. I went and used the landline. The items were delivered.

I was ready to crash at this point (it’s about 5pm & the headache is coming back), but instead was sent inspiration to learn Hindi. Not only did the person come to deliver the water and milk, but then some strange man came to the door. After that someone came to deliver my roommate’s train ticket which I wasn’t expecting. I tried to ring her but there wasn’t any answer. I just paid for the ticket and tried to lay back down. Then came the neighbor. All I understood was water and pump. I took a guess that one of the roommates had turned the pump on to fill our tank and it was now overflowing. I went and turned it off. I ended up being right. At this point I had given up on resting and decided to try to order food to be delivered. It was a success. I enjoyed some amazing chicken biryani, garlic nan, and paneer parantha. The first is a chicken and rice dish. The others are types of tortilla like breads (one with garlic, the other filled with cheese).

Then the evening ended well with my roommates coming back and a surprise visitor. We had great conversation over tea and biscuits.

The Second Half of the Journey

I’ve never flown KLM or been through Amsterdam. I think Amsterdam would be a place I would like to visit---at least from looking at the postcards=)

It was in Amsterdam I found out why I had to check my carry on. There are different restrictions for carry ons btw Europe and Asia. There’s also high security flying into South Asia. We had to through another full security check. I was highly entertained by a Scottish woman. She was a bit racy and shared her opinions freely. My layover wasn’t boring at all. We did a lot of people watching and speculation of people’s stories.

On the plane I was seated by a Punjabi man and his son. They were on their way to visit the man’s parents. The man and his son live in Germany. They only spoke German and Punjabi. My listening skills were tested as I tried to talk to the little boy who mixed the two languages. The man and I were able to communicate pretty well. There were some random words that failed me after being sleep deprived for more than 20 hours such as deice and the word for the wing on a plane. I enjoyed using my German again. Somehow the airline attendants thought we were married. I infer that from a comment they made when they came around checking on special meal orders. The attendant made the jester to us and the Indian couple across from us as being one family. I didn’t think anything of it until I was in line for customs. I realized I wasn’t ever given my immigration form on the plane. I slept a great deal and I think they didn’t wake me (which they typically do) because they thought the Punjabi man was my husband. Luckily, the immigration guy was nice and let me fill the form out without having to go to the end of the line.

After making it through immigration I went to collect my bags. Thank goodness all my baggage arrived with nothing missing or damaged. My host had fun watching me unpack. It is always interesting to see what newbies bring because you never really know what to bring. The company gave me a list of things to bring based on not living in a large city but I live in a city with 20 million people.

When I went shopping my first day here, I was pleased to find all sorts of food items I almost brought but are easily found here. I was also delighted to find a great selection of fruits and veggies. The best part is there are shops now with readymade clothes for people my size. YEAH!


I feel a bit spoiled. I have the best host. She uses her home as a guesthouse. I might end up staying with her during my year of language study since it’s so close to the school. There are lots of benefits of living with someone who has been here for 9 years. One is she has western toilets. Two is she has a wash machine. Three is she has a water heater (which they call geezers here). Four she has satellite TV. Five she has wireless. Six her house help cleans the house and washes dishes (note: It is customary to have house help. It’s not a luxury. It provides jobs for people and helps us out tremendously. We would be looked down upon by our community if we didn’t). I have access to all this as part of my rent. A special person lives in our neighborhood so we have electricity and water more often than other people. I’m a bit spoiled to begin with but it will help with the transition. There’s enough stuff I have to deal with than not being comfortable at home.


The weather hasn’t been as cold as anticipated but it’s been cool enough. I am taking a trip to visit a friend and her new baby next week. When I return I will start classes and have full orientation at work. It’s been good to have time to rest. I have a cold. My host says that most people get a cold the first week simply from exhaustion and acclimating to the pollution. I’m learning to be gracious to myself and am resting.

I'm on a Jet Plane

I’m writing this on the plane. To be honest I’ve never worked on my computer on a plane before. This seems a bit odd to me. This morning was so surreal. In some ways it seemed normal. I’ve made this trip before. Then there’s the reality that this isn’t just a trip.
Friday, I had a great time with my family celebrating my younger sister’s birthday. Saturday morning I was able to enjoy my goddaughter’s 4th birthday party. It was hard to leave. My sisters picked me up and we went out to have one last sister night. We enjoyed dinner and a very curious movie. The main character even went to India to find himself. Then there was a poignant quote, “You can never truly miss someone until their gone.” I’m certain I am going to find that to be true.
Sunday I had some special time with my parents. Then my brother-in-law’s mom and sister came by to say goodbye. My grandma and uncle joined us for some excellent homemade chicken and dumplings. What can I say, my mom makes the best. My older sister, her girls and I ended up dragging enough mattresses into one room so we could have a slumber party.
This morning we did our usual Saturday morning breakfast but on Monday. Then I went to get my haircut. Then it felt like the clock stopped. Time started to drag. The anticipation was building. Noon hit and everyone teared up and we loaded the car and headed for the airport.
Everything went smoothly except they made me check my carry-on. I’m a bit hacked about it. They claimed that they needed to limit passengers to one item only and that my carry on was too heavy. I couldn’t convince them otherwise. I only got to bring my computer on the plane. I really hope nothing happens to that bag. I had to pay to check it. I couldn’t leave it and it wouldn’t fit in my other luggage or computer bag. It really sucked.
There’s about six more hours left on this flight. I’ll have to finish this story later.

Surprise Guests!

I have been able to see people I haven’t seen for several years. The first was an unexpected visit from my friend Chris. We grew up in the same neighborhood and have always called ourselves brother and sister. Chris, his wife, and girls are moving back to town. He stopped by unannounced. What timing.
Yesterday, my parents did my last farewell thing. Friends old and new came. There were many surprises. The first was my friend Rachel and her son. Rachel and I have known each other for at least 23 years if not longer. We thought we had already said our goodbye but I’m glad we got another chance to see each other. Her parents, sister, and nephew were also there.
Another friend, Allison, happened to be in town visiting her mom. They both came. Allison and I have known each other since junior high. It meant so much to see her before I left.
Then I thought I was seeing things. I turned around and saw someone in the doorway and thought, “That looks like Lucia.” Then I looked again and it really was Lucia. Lucia and her husband Allan had also been in town for something else and were able to come by. I haven’t seen then in years.
Those were pleasant surprises. It was just wonderful to have all the people I love so much in one room. Saying goodbye well will allow me to say hello well to all the new things in my life.
Today I am supposed to say goodbye to another dear friend. Tomorrow my nieces are out of school for MLK Day. My nieces, my sisters (including Rachael), and I are having a girls’ day out. We will be going out to eat and seeing Bedtime Stories.
Tuesday will be my last day of errands (hopefully). I’m having lunch with the Peacocks sometime this week. Saturday I will go to my goddaughter’s birthday party and have to say goodbye to her and her family.
Then Monday will be the hardest, so let’s not go there yet. It will be here soon enough.

Back to Saying Goodbye

My friends back in my parents’ home town also gave me a farewell party. It was great. My favorite foods and favorite people, what more can you ask for? My friends who put the party together had me register. It was somewhat profitable. I got some much needed things and some fun things.
Before my surgery I went with my friend to get everything I need to take. I have everything (minus a few things) and now I just need to pack. Got to weigh my bags and make sure they are only 50lbs. each.

Surgery. Avoid at all cost=(

I am a horrible sick person. Just ask my family, if they weren’t my family then they would have disowned me. I wasn’t nervous about the surgery until the anesthesiologist came in and explained the tubes would be inserted into my stomach and lungs. I didn’t like that idea. They came in to give me some light drugs that were supposed to start the sedation and well I don’t remember anything after that. I woke up not knowing if the procedure had happened yet and some person was reaching into my gown and pulling my heart monitors off my chest. A bit weird to say the least. This nurse was trying to get me to eat crackers and drink 7Up. I just wanted to either vomit or sleep. Apparently, when they removed the tube from my stomach I had done just that…vomited. They were giving me anti-nausea drugs and pain meds. The nurses thought I was good to go. I fooled them. The moment I got home I started vomiting. I continued to vomit two or three times an hour in 10-15 increments. My family was on the phone with the doctor. They tried various things and finally ended up having to take me to the ER.That was a nightmare. First, the wait. Second, they couldn’t find vein to put my IV in (I have multiple bruises to prove it). Third, a nurse with horrible bedside manners (I thought my parents were going to kill him). I ended up being admitted to the hospital and told I couldn’t leave until I could keep down a meal. That’s really exciting considering hospital food could make a well person vomit.In the morning I ended up keeping a clear diet down (go jello!). I got a regular lunch…chicken fried steak covered in gravy with garlic mac & cheese and peas. Did they want me to really leave? I ate the dinner roll, some of the chicken fried steak (after taking the gravy off), and some peas. It stayed down! I went home and recovery has gone well.

Goodbyes Continued...oh, wait!

Some of you might have caught on that I was actually supposed to leave already (Jan 8th). I had a little mishap called a gallbladder attack. I ended up have surgery instead of leaving. After the doctor’s approval this coming Monday (Jan 26th) I will be leaving.

Everyday Miracles

The 2007-2008 school year offered me many challenges in the classroom. My students have always acted like a mirror for me. They have brought out the best and worst in me. They have been my best teachers.
I had several students in my class which we refer to as “hard-to-handle.” Typically, I deal well with these students and they end up being my favorites (let’s be honest, all teachers have favorites). It seemed to me that I had more in this class than usual or they had just the right personality to get to me more than others have. One of those students’ was a boy I’ll name Dave.
Dave was a very energetic boy. He was cared for by his disabled grandfather. They lived in a rundown house with leaking a leaky roof that wasn’t well insulated. It wasn’t the best place for a child to be living. He basically took care of himself at 10 years old. When he came to school Dave was usually not bathed or groomed. He had a certain smell that could make you gag. Dave’s clothes were always dirty and torn. What always got me were his fingernails. His nails were so dirty that his cuticles were infected. I did what I could to help him. The nurse let him bathe in the mornings if he arrived early. The social worker would help Dave get new clothes or wash the ones he wore.
What broke my heart the most was the look in his eyes of a loss of childhood, a loss of innocence. Dave’s anger was fierce. Along with the help of other teachers and some administrators we worked on a plan to help him learn to deal with his emotions. Dave was making a lot of progress which also helped his academics. Then one day he moved.
I found out that he moved to my friend’s school. She kept me up-to-date with his progress. Then I got word that Dave’s grandfather died. I worried about who would take care of him.
I got to see Dave when I went to visit my friend at her school. She had me hide behind the door while she pulled him out on the pretense that he was in trouble. Then she said, “This woman wants to speak to you.” She stepped out of the way. He squealed my name and just about tackled me.
I wanted to cry. Dave was about a foot taller, well groomed and clean---even his nails! His eyes gleamed with the innocence of a child. He passed his TAKS test and was doing well in class. Dave said he was now living with his aunt. Thank you Dave’s aunt. I’ve never met you but I think you’re wonderful.
Seeing Dave doing well made all the stress, pain and hard work of that year worth it. Just as Dave has been changed by that year so have I. We are both better for knowing each other. We definitely have someone greater to thank for the work He did in us and will continue to do in the years to come.
I love you Dave! Keep up the good work. Thanks Ms. Kelley for all you’ve done.

Time to Say Goodbye

I have been trying my best to intentional say good-bye well to people and places over the last few months. To be honest it started in June when I left the school I have taught at for the past three years. I had to leave my community and my friends of the last six years. I’ve been so thankful that it wasn’t a sudden severing but a gradual adjustment. I’ve been able to go back and gradually and purposefully say good-bye.
My last visit to the place I call home was the first part of December. I had an amazing send off. I wanted to share some of them with you. I spent the week having coffee, lunch, dinner, and whatever other kind of gathering one can have with various people. My first night in town I had dinner with a couple that has become sort of parent figures for me. They themselves have spent time living overseas working and have been an endless source of wisdom. The place we ate was meaningful because it was a favorite spot for some friends of mine to go.
The next afternoon I got to catch up with my former teaching partner. I simply was able to lounge in her living room and play with her six month old son and chat it up. I miss working with her and seeing her every day. Love you Megan!
I had dinner with an old roommate at a local restaurant. I had lunch with a former co-worker at my favorite Thai restaurant. I went and visited my school one last time. I also went to visit another school where some friends of mine teach and saw some old students (see Everyday Miracles for more details). I also had coffee with a former professor who as always imparted some wisdom for me.
The difficult thing is you can’t have individual meetings with everyone you know. I sent an email out to everyone I had in my address book (who lived in the area) that I would be at Starbucks from 4 to 9 on Friday night. It was a great idea. I got to see so many people that way.
Saturday morning I had a precious breakfast at some friends’ house. They have the most fun-loving two red-heads in the world. They made me a special gift, a paper chain that was as tall as their ceiling.
When saying goodbye to people you must also say goodbye to places. I have one that I wanted to interject here. Before teaching elementary school I taught adult education (GED & ESL). One of the locations I taught at was a Hispanic Catholic Church. I feel in love with this place. The fathers and sisters were extraordinary people. All of them but one come from somewhere outside the US. I loved being around them. The church is over 100 years old. It’s breath-taking. I love to just sit in there. It makes me feel at peace. I went and sat one last time in its pews and just took it all in.
Sunday night I had a sending off party thrown by some of my closest friends. It was a sweet time of remembering and looking to the future. It was a good closure to my time there.
One thing that made the entire visit perfect was my hosts. I have to take time to brag about them. Chris & Melanie rock! They made their home my home. I was able to come and go as needed. I could rest or play with their adorable little son. The best part is I got to see them a lot. I will definitely miss having conversations with Mel that go from being very deep and serious to very funny and light-hearted. I love you Melanie!
One last stop on my way out of town…the perfect breakfast place with a very good friend. Then I had to drive away until next time.

The Transition Bridge

When I last left you I said I would talk about saying goodbye well and transition. While at training our instructors gave us a great image of what people who move to another place experience. It doesn’t matter if you are moving overseas or within your own country. When you move to another culture (which can be in your own country) the transition is more extreme.
If you can imagine with me two sturdy wooden chairs, the kind you would use to stand on to reach something in a high spot. Then connected to those two chairs making a bridge are two conference room style chairs, the ones that have the curved bowed legs that allow you to rock back and forth. Then comes three large exercise balls held together by saran wrap. After the balls are two more conference chairs and finally two more sturdy wooden chairs. Would you like to walk across this bridge?
The sturdy wooden chairs represent our lives when we are settled. We feel safe and have a routine and know the rules of our society (spoken and unspoken). When someone starts pulling up roots, packing up their belongings, and saying good-bye to people and places they become unsettled. This is represented by the not so sturdy conference chairs. As we get in that U-Haul or on the plane to go to our new “home” we are stepping out on very unstable exercise balls held together by saran wrap. This is the stage known as chaos. A person no longer has any identity in their community. They don’t understand the rules of society and possibly not even the language. As an adult it feels as if you become a two year again. The good news is there are chairs past the “chaos,” but it can take a while to get there. For some it can take them six months to a year to enter an unsettled stage again. On average it takes a person about two years to reach a settled stage. This is just a glimpse into what I’ve been experiencing this past year and what I have to look forward to.
As I started packing and making decisions about leaving the place I have lived for the past six years I started moving into the unsettled phase. When I left this place in June to move near family before I left I became even more unsettled. Here I am days away from departure and can feel the chaos starting to approach. It’s like walking closer and closer to a ledge and knowing once you get there you have to jump off. Here’s to 8 more days till my jump!

Disclaimer: I wrote this 10 days before I left and then didn't get it published. Now I am actually in the motherland.