Frustration

I hit my first wall of feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. When I went to bed last night all I could imagine was hiding under the covers and crying for the rest of my life. I really couldn’t bare the thought of getting up and facing the world the next morning, but I did. It wasn’t too bad. It was actually a lot better than yesterday.

You might wonder how this happened. First of all it’s normal. Everyone who moves to another culture has their good and bad days. It wasn’t like anything bad happened. It was just the tension of adjusting to life here.

I get around by auto rickshaw for the most part. The problem is the drivers like to cheat everyone but most of all foreigners. Over time I will know how much it is suppose to cost to get to different places and be able to haggle down the price but I will never be allowed to pay the fair rate. This is a reality that can be frustrating especially when you’re not in the mood to argue and don’t have enough language to haggle.

Getting around and doing anything is exhausting. One must realize that you will never accomplish as much as you did back home in any given day. Things happen at a much slower rate here. The fact that I went to language school, studied at a café, recharged the minutes on my mobile, picked up clothes from the tailor, and went and picked something from the office is a lot to do in one day. It took me about 7 hours to do all these things. I only traveled about 10 minutes from my house.

The other thing that hit me was my loss of immediate contact with friends. I just really want to pick up the phone and talk to some friends. It’s 3:30 in the afternoon here but it’s 3:30 in the morning for my friends. I don’t think they’d appreciate that.

I have another friend whose family is dealing with a health crisis. This friend and I were family to each other when we lived in the States. She is actually only 2 ½ hours different in time but we cannot seem to get a good, reliable, or affordable way to communicate. It kills me not being able to be there for her.

Learning a language has its ups and downs. It’s fun when you are getting it but it’s a headache when you’re not. Whether it’s going well or not it still makes your brain hurt. I’ve been trying to catch up on 3 weeks of language school. My brain is about to pop. Hindi is consuming my life. No matter how much I feel like I’ve accomplished when I venture out and start trying to communicate I realize how little I really know.

I have to keep intentionally reminding myself of the successes I’ve made. I made it to the office without getting lost. I made it back home and gave the driver directions the entire way (I had to convince him I knew the way first). I’m not sure if I should be proud of this but I was able to get the rickshaw driver to take me and refuse the others that were waiting before me (there’s no cue here, it’s who can convince the driver you’re the better deal). I was white and willing to pay more so I won. I guess I used my frustration of being cheated to my advantage. I found the tailor and a place to recharge my phone. I have made some progress in identifying the letters (especially the vowels) and sounding out words. I literally have to name these things to compensate for all the negative that I could focus on. It’s an everyday battle.

Space

I’m not sure I know what this word means. If there is any space the people here know how to fill it. You simply have to walk into any store or market to observe this. Take a look at the neighborhood and the houses and even the slums. Traffic operates the same way. This is why I don’t take the bus (too many people mean I get grabbed too many times). If you ever need help in packing or making the most of any space simply ask a local.

Beggars

Beggars are a part of everyday life here. There's a struggle to remain compassionate and not let your heart harden while not getting abused. If you give to one beggar then you end up causing a scene and can be mobbed. It can be a bit scary when you're alone. There are also people running scams. You really have to get to know the beggars in your area and discern who to give to and how to give to them. The hardest part is you're dealing with children most of the time.


I had an experience the other day that was different from past beggar encounters. I was with two other expats in an auto rickshaw. Being an expat you become a magnet for beggars because you're rich. We were sitting at the red light and about four young boy touts came to sell us books and other things. One woman tried to sell us incense but quickly left. The boys quickly understood that we were not interested in buying books. They were enjoying the conversation and it wasn't bothering us.

Then this young girl came up signing for food. I said no. Once you've acknowledged a beggar you are in for it. They have great persistence after being acknowledged. The girl began to rub my upper thigh with her left hand (which is considered unclean). This is completely inappropriate even for her culture. I pushed her hand away and said no and go away. That's when she dug her nails into my arm and started pinching me. If I wouldn't have been wearing a long sleeve shirt she would have drawn blood and she definitely left marks. I swatted at her hand and she ran away.

I immediately started rationalizing my right to swat at her hand. It just put me in a conundrum for the rest of the day. Was my response appropriate? I had to let her know that she shouldn't do that.

I'm struggling with how to interact with beggars. They are people and need to be treated with respect. I can't give to everyone. Even to acknowledge them sometimes puts me in danger. I just have to be sensitive to the situation. Be as gentle as a dove and wise as a serpent. What does that look like? I just think the most important thing is my heart. My hope is that living here doesn't harden my heart.

Animal Count

I've been keeping track of the different animals I've encountered. I started doing this to entertain a young friend (3 years old) who is enduring 28 days of chemotherapy right now. I thought you might want to hear about theses interesting creatures as well.

Dogs, dogs, and more dogs. They are everywhere. You can't escape them. Because of them I've learned the word "Jao!" It is the command form of the word go. These are street dogs that are not vaccinated. The dogs carry lots of disease. Because of the cultural beliefs they cannot be put down. At most NGOs come and pick up the local dogs and then fix them and vaccinate them and then release them back in the neighborhood. That's the best we can hope for.

There are cats (billies) here also. They love to get into your garbage. You must make sure you have a cat/rat proof lid. Yes, there are wonderful rats running around as well. That's a good reason to keep the cats around.

Bundar! Monkeys are also hanging out in your local neighborhoods as well. I've only spotted them a few times. You must be careful with putting things outside (like your laundry) or the monkeys will take it. Their our local thieves that you must watch out for.

When I went on a trip last week I saw camels walking the streets. Typically you seen them in the bordering state of mine. While I was gone my roommate saw an elephant (hoti) wondering the streets. These are common especially at weddings and can also be rented for birthday parties.

Other than that I have seen much of anything else other than bugs. I hope not to see the local snakes. I stay clear of anyone who looks like a snake charmer and has a basket=) I will keep you posted on any other intersting things I happen to see.