Raksha Bandhan: Brother’s Day

Yesterday (Wednesday) was the day that the relationship between brothers and sisters are honored and celebrated. Sisters travel long distances just to honor their brother(s) by tying the Rakhi on their wrist. The Rakhi is a band of threads that symbolizes the unique and strong bond between brothers and sisters.

In return, the brother(s) are to present gifts to their sisters. This made me think of those men in my life who are like my brothers.

The obvious one is my brother-in-law, Ryan. He’s just a great guy. I’m glad he’s a part of my family. I love the way he loves my sister. He’s thoughtful and creative. His girls just adore him.

The closest thing I have to a brother is my friend Dale. Our relationship is very much like a brother and sister. We have a unique understanding of each other but we also pick on each other and fight like siblings. His poor wife has to always sit between us to make sure we behave.

Then there are my other brothers who have shown me great respect and care throughout the years. I am honored to call them my friends….Chris F., Darren C., John E., Paul HP., Wes C., Aaron G., Cini, Sagar, Michael F., Travis J., Andy K., James W., Ben B., Chris R., Chris C., David T., Carlos M., Jeff A., just to name a few.

For a girl who doesn’t have any biological brothers, God made sure to give me men in my life to fill that role. Being in a culture where a women’s identity/reputation comes from the men in her family and extended family, I must say I miss having my brothers around to defend my reputation and offer protection and covering. I am thankful for all of you and especially the ones who are in country with me. Your presence (or absence) is not taken for granted.

Happy Raksha Bandhan!

For more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raksha_Bandhan

FYI: The swastika is a symbol of unity used in South Asia long before Hitler distorted it's meaning.

Monsoon Season

The monsoon season should have come early to mid-July but we aren’t having a proper monsoon. During the monsoon it doesn’t necessarily rain all the time but it should rain for several hours just about every day. This, of course, causes havoc in the city. Streets are flooded and the sewers back up into the streets. It’s quite messy and adventurous. It does make it difficult to get around, but it is necessary for the crops (and it cools the temperature down, yeah!). If we don’t have a good monsoon the crops will not do well. In some years this has led to farmers killing themselves. The season should extend into September, so please pray that we get the heavy monsoon we need. In this case, it truly is better late than never.

Shifting Houses

Shifting houses here makes moving in the States seem like a vacation. Finding the right place is worse than trying to find a needle in a hay stack. It starts with finding a property dealer which one usually does through word of mouth. Then one must be very specific in describing what one wants and does not want. The tricking thing at the beginning of this process is one does not know the things that need to be considered.

Who knew I would need to specify that I wanted a flat with all the rooms contained together without having to walk outside to go to a different room? Who knew I needed to specify that I wanted the kitchen inside or the bathroom inside? One also needs to specify if they want all the rooms adjoining (meaning you have to walk through one bedroom to get to the next, etc) or separate (which they refer to as side-by-side) and private. I must also specify what type of toilet, western or squatty (I knew that one). One should also clarify that one does not want the kitchen to be connected to the bedroom. I have seen so many strange layouts which I’m not sure I can’t even describe. One must see it to believe it.

Then there’s the budget. The property dealer needs to know the budget. There’s a debate on whether you tell him your minimum or your maximum. My experience says you tell him your mid-range.

Then you go and look for hours at places. The first several are always crap. Places you would never consider. Then they take you to places out of your budget. Along the way you say what you like and don’t like about the places. You have to ask the right questions…does the place have enough voltage to run an A/C? Inverter (like a generator)? Who pumps the water and when? How often are the water tanks cleaned? Do you share a tank or does each flat have their own? Does the landlord live on property or where? Is the water and electricity included? Is the water and/or electricity on a separate meter? Is it government water and/or electricity or private? If there is no water, will the landlord arrange for water to be brought in? If possible, you want to try to speak to other tenants to see how often they go without electricity and/or water. One needs to know how much water they need to store just in case. One should also ask about security and the gate and who has keys, etc. Can one get receipts for payments made (not always possible here). Those are the basic questions. Not things I asked back home for sure. I had helpful people make me a list of these things.

Once you do this with several property dealers there might be one or two places you might consider. One must act quick because places go really fast. To secure a flat, one must pay equal to one month’s rent. Before or upon moving in one must pay the first month’s rent and pay the property dealer one month’s rent for finding the place. Your first month you have to pay three months rent. The security deposit will be returned if one month notice is given before moving out.

I think the hardest part is being rejected because the assumptions people make about me because I’m a single woman. Some people won’t rent to me because they don’t want my clients on their property. That means exactly what you think it means. It is assumed by some that I am a prostitute. Why else would a single woman being living without her family? In the process of seeing houses I always either take a man friend with me or call one and have the man friend talk to the landlord and/or property dealer. It helps for them to know that I have a man who can vouch for my character.

This takes a lot of time and energy. If you are working around your work schedule and language lessons it will take a while. Alas, I’m still in the midst of this process. I saw 10 or 12 places Monday. Only 2 were worth looking at. One is for rent until it sales which means if I took it I would have one month to move whenever it eventually sells. That could be in a month, 3 months, 6 months, who knows. The other place is ok. It’s got one western toilet and one squatty. It wouldn’t be easy to find someone to room with me with a squatty. Probably won’t take it. Tuesday I didn’t get to see many places because the landlords didn’t want to rent to a single woman. Of the few I did get to see only one was livable but it is above a men’s salon. It’s wouldn’t be appropriate or safe for me to stay there. Saturday I have another appointment. I have a male friend coming with me. I will also carry my work contract with me if they have any questions about my employment.

The good part (sort of) is it has given me lots of Hindi practice. Of course, there’s the frustration of not always being able to communicate well. A little English and some very poor and broken Hindi can go a long way. It also hinders the process some.

Kite Season

I guess it must be kite season. Everywhere I look I see little boys flying homemade kites. It’s so much fun to see the joy in their faces and hear their laughter. It reminds me of the scenes described in Kite Runner. The flurry of colors as they swoop and dive and rise again. The thrill as one kite gets close to another. Suspense fills your soul waiting to see who will cut who. Then the intrigue of the chase of the fallen kite. It’s quite a show.