One of the best cultural lessons I learned this holiday season was the socially appropriate and socially expected forms of gift giving.
If you are an employer (which I am) then there are certain expectations of you. If you employ professionals like my language helper, then it is expected that on their religious holiday you give them the culturally appropriate according to their custom. In my case, since my employee is still a "child" (not married) and a Muslim then I give her the traditional Eidiya. I am required to give Eidiya to each child of any Muslim household I visit on Eid. I did the appropriate thing when I gave Eidiya to my language helper and her siblings. Because my language helper is my employee, I gave her extra Eidiya. What I didn't do correctly was the gift to her mother. Her mother is my house help, a domestic worker. On a domestic worker's religious holiday you should give them a gift. Oops! I don't think she was upset about the Eidiya I gave her and her mother. Now I know why they chuckled about it=)
Now to make things more complicated. On my religious holiday the expectations change. First, if I'm home then I'm to serve Christmas Cake to anyone who comes to visit. Of course this is a new concept to me since we don't do Christmas Cake like the Commonwealth Countries. In fact, our Christmas Cake (fruit cake) is commonly a source of humor.
The employee expectations are reversed. For my religious holiday I should give my professional workers (language helper) a gift and to my domestic help (not only my house help but the garbage collector and the other woman who cleans our entry way and stairwell) a bonus. I'm so thankful my friends who I spent Christmas with enlightened me of this. Otherwise I would have had a rude awakening and been very frustrated upon my return home. I was prepared today to pay all the domestic help their bonuses. I have a gift ready for my language helper.
My brother-in-law is a gamer. He compared learning a new culture like learning a new game. You have to die several times before you make it to the next level. It takes time and practice to master the game. I thought that was an excellent analogy to what I'm experiencing living and working here.
02 January 2010
New Year's and Megumi's Birthday
I had a great New Year's Eve. I was invited to my friend and co-worker's daughter's birthday party. I went out early and enjoyed an amazing lunch. Then I helped my friend get last minute things for the party. It was great to be part of a family event like this. I helped out with the games. We played limbo, hot potato and Simon Says. I loved helping make the Indian version of a pinata.
The Birthday Girl and her family
The Games Coordinator
the Cake
The Indian Pinata...like a big pounding balloon filled with candy and confetti. The kids then try to jump and pop it with a pin. Of course it has the same after effects when it busts.
The Sharma Family (Megumi, Gunjan, Vipul) & Me
Gunjan & Me
Afterward I went home and counted down the New Year with my niece on skype. It blew their minds that not only was I a day ahead of them but also a month, year and decade!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
The Birthday Girl and her family
The Games Coordinator
the Cake
The Indian Pinata...like a big pounding balloon filled with candy and confetti. The kids then try to jump and pop it with a pin. Of course it has the same after effects when it busts.
The Sharma Family (Megumi, Gunjan, Vipul) & Me
Gunjan & MeAfterward I went home and counted down the New Year with my niece on skype. It blew their minds that not only was I a day ahead of them but also a month, year and decade!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
A Coffee Jar Christmas
I am so lucky to have friends from home that also live here. They own a coffee shop. The husband overseas the coffee shop and the wife overseas the bakery. They have two adorable children-Sophia and Samuel. I had a wonderful Christmas with them.
I arrived on the 22nd and was ushered into the chaos of the rush to get all the special orders done by Christmas Eve. I loved being in the midst of it all. I got to know the bakery workers because the bakery is actually in my friends' home. I helped out with my friends' kids and the one of the bakery worker's son. My friends and I exchanged gifts on the 23rd. What better gift can a bakery owner give you than baking pans! I can't wait to use them.
My friend showing off her new fuzzy socks. The kids diving into their gifts.
I also got to partake in gifts from my friend's mom who lives in the States...candy canes, fudge, and other special candies. Sophia and I made Snickerdoodles for carolers that we were expecting. We just had a lot of fun.
On Christmas Eve all the single lady employees spent the night. Of course we had to do mehendi.
After everyone went to sleep I got to help be Santa with my friends. We made 50+ stockings for all the employees and their children.
The ladies waking up to the surprise of stocking (a first time experience).
Christmas Day was a blast. In the morning, all the Coffee Jar employees and their families came over. The children did a play of the Christmas Story.
The angel in the play
Then the bakery workers did a special performance which was beautiful. Then a lunch was served which included chicken cooked out on the grill. In the midst of this, another friend of mine from that city came by and "kidnapped" me for Christmas lunch. I had a juicy steak! Afterward we did some shopping and returned to my friends' house. By this time all the Coffee Jar people were off to open the shop and the next party started. About 30-40 people came to a dessert and coffee time. It was neat to connect with people. We had pecan pie! By the end of the day we were all exhausted. The husband was off at the coffee shop, the kids were in bed, so my friend and I enjoyed a dinner of popcorn and eggnog.
The rest of the week was very low key. I was so spoiled. Fresh pastries almost every day and coffee as well. I think I actually gained weight for the first time since I moved here. We enjoyed great breakfast: french toast, omelettes, and the Indian version of huevos ranchero. I love my friend's dal and rice. We also had fajitas, some other great Indian dishes and a local specialty...chocolate bread. It was a foodie's paradise. The company was even better. It's nice to have friends in my life that connect and relate to both my worlds.
I also got to skype my family and see them open the gifts I sent them. It was great to see their faces light up. My grandparents were there. I got to talk to the entire family expect my uncle. I'm glad it worked out to be able to have that shared moment despite the physical distance between us.
I arrived on the 22nd and was ushered into the chaos of the rush to get all the special orders done by Christmas Eve. I loved being in the midst of it all. I got to know the bakery workers because the bakery is actually in my friends' home. I helped out with my friends' kids and the one of the bakery worker's son. My friends and I exchanged gifts on the 23rd. What better gift can a bakery owner give you than baking pans! I can't wait to use them.
I also got to partake in gifts from my friend's mom who lives in the States...candy canes, fudge, and other special candies. Sophia and I made Snickerdoodles for carolers that we were expecting. We just had a lot of fun.
After everyone went to sleep I got to help be Santa with my friends. We made 50+ stockings for all the employees and their children.
This is one of the bakery workers and her kids. The son, Imran (bottom picture), and I got to spend lots of time together.
The ladies waking up to the surprise of stocking (a first time experience).
Christmas Day was a blast. In the morning, all the Coffee Jar employees and their families came over. The children did a play of the Christmas Story.
The angel in the playThen the bakery workers did a special performance which was beautiful. Then a lunch was served which included chicken cooked out on the grill. In the midst of this, another friend of mine from that city came by and "kidnapped" me for Christmas lunch. I had a juicy steak! Afterward we did some shopping and returned to my friends' house. By this time all the Coffee Jar people were off to open the shop and the next party started. About 30-40 people came to a dessert and coffee time. It was neat to connect with people. We had pecan pie! By the end of the day we were all exhausted. The husband was off at the coffee shop, the kids were in bed, so my friend and I enjoyed a dinner of popcorn and eggnog.
The rest of the week was very low key. I was so spoiled. Fresh pastries almost every day and coffee as well. I think I actually gained weight for the first time since I moved here. We enjoyed great breakfast: french toast, omelettes, and the Indian version of huevos ranchero. I love my friend's dal and rice. We also had fajitas, some other great Indian dishes and a local specialty...chocolate bread. It was a foodie's paradise. The company was even better. It's nice to have friends in my life that connect and relate to both my worlds.
I also got to skype my family and see them open the gifts I sent them. It was great to see their faces light up. My grandparents were there. I got to talk to the entire family expect my uncle. I'm glad it worked out to be able to have that shared moment despite the physical distance between us.
Christmas Party
I decided to throw a come and go dessert Christmas Party. I was concerned because this is a new concept here. About 15-20 people showed up. I was way excited. I loved finding all the ingredients and doing the baking. This is what I made:
Two Pumpkin Rolls, Oatmeal Raisin Cookies, Snickerdoodles, Eggless Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies, Apple Pie (eggless), Eggless Walnut Brownie Cake, and a Peanut Butter Pie (eggless). I also made hot chocolate and apple cider.
It was important for me to have eggless items because some groups here don't eat eggs. I also made buckeyes (chocolate peanut butter balls) as an eggless treat. Some friends brought some salty snacks to balance out all the sweet stuff I made. Here are a few other pics from the beginning of the event. I got so busy later after the guests started arriving I forgot to take more pictures.
It was important for me to have eggless items because some groups here don't eat eggs. I also made buckeyes (chocolate peanut butter balls) as an eggless treat. Some friends brought some salty snacks to balance out all the sweet stuff I made. Here are a few other pics from the beginning of the event. I got so busy later after the guests started arriving I forgot to take more pictures.
Bakra Eid aka Goodbye Hairy Scary Goats!
I must first apologize for my sacrilegious humor. I do have a history with goats in India that make this holiday personally a bit humorous. That's another story (but for those who know the penguin story it is very similar=)
Bakra Eid is the festival when one remembers the provision that was made for Abraham when he was asked to sacrifice his son. I can truly appreciate and celebrate this festival. On this day it is customary for people to give meat to each other. Traditionally worldwide lamb is given. Here lamb is very expensive so goat is usually given or water buffalo. For people with more money, camel meat is given. If one has the money, they are to buy a goat and give 1/3 to the poor, 1/3 to their community and extended family, and the rest they get to keep.
It is also customary for the sons/brothers to buy their sisters and mother a new suit (salwar kameez). I was honored when the brothers of my language helper bought me a new suit for BakraEid.
I was able to join the family for a nice meal and my language helper, her mother, and I wore our new suits. The meal was lovely. It was funny to be present while several people came by with bags of meat as a gift. Then that meat was passed on to another family by my family. I think it's a beautiful way to demonstrated God's provision.
Here are some pictures from the day...
The family: Zarina (language helper), Sarya (mother), Rizwan (youngest brother), Saleem (older brother)...missing Sameer (eldest brother)
This is Zarina's youngest cousin showing off her new lehnga. Isn't she adorable!
Nani (name for maternal grandma)
Zarina and I took our turn at posing....
Introducing the next big Bollywood Star...Zarina Khan!!!
Of course with any celebration we do mehendi!
On my way home...
Bakra Eid is the festival when one remembers the provision that was made for Abraham when he was asked to sacrifice his son. I can truly appreciate and celebrate this festival. On this day it is customary for people to give meat to each other. Traditionally worldwide lamb is given. Here lamb is very expensive so goat is usually given or water buffalo. For people with more money, camel meat is given. If one has the money, they are to buy a goat and give 1/3 to the poor, 1/3 to their community and extended family, and the rest they get to keep.
It is also customary for the sons/brothers to buy their sisters and mother a new suit (salwar kameez). I was honored when the brothers of my language helper bought me a new suit for BakraEid.
I was able to join the family for a nice meal and my language helper, her mother, and I wore our new suits. The meal was lovely. It was funny to be present while several people came by with bags of meat as a gift. Then that meat was passed on to another family by my family. I think it's a beautiful way to demonstrated God's provision.
Here are some pictures from the day...
The family: Zarina (language helper), Sarya (mother), Rizwan (youngest brother), Saleem (older brother)...missing Sameer (eldest brother)
This is Zarina's youngest cousin showing off her new lehnga. Isn't she adorable!
Nani (name for maternal grandma)Zarina and I took our turn at posing....
Introducing the next big Bollywood Star...Zarina Khan!!!
Of course with any celebration we do mehendi!
On my way home...
Tree Trimming with Ringen
It is my family's tradition to go pick out a tree, cut it down, bring it home and decorate it the day after Thanksgiving. I didn't go cut this one down nor was I able to put it up the day after Thanksgiving but it was an adventure to get it and the things to decorate it.
It took going to 2 Christmas Markets (American and German) and about 5 other shops/markets to find what I needed. First on my list was to get the things I needed for my Advent wreath. I was able to find the candles and some green garland and small poinsettia blossoms to decorate them at Khan Market. It's a major expat oriented market with lots of export items. It also has the price tag to match. They have a special festival shop which changes what it carries for every possible major festival for all the major religions here and non-religious holidays.
After the Advent Wreath was ready then I set out for ornaments and a tree. My first Christmas Market was the American Women's Association held at the American Embassy School. I had fun hanging out with my friends Kathleen, Vivki, and Ringen. We ran into lots of people we knew. It was like taking a trip to the States for the day. We enjoyed grilled hamburgers, fries, and yummy desserts. I got my first ornament as a gift from Vicki.
I have a friend here who works with people who are HIV+. Her NGO tries to help these people find different ways to generate money and support themselves. This Christmas they made ornaments. I was able to buy my first ornaments from this group. I bought two packets. Each packet came with a ball ornament, a bell, and some large and small stars. The balls are paper mache. The bells and stars are carved out of wood. One of the ball ornaments has a nativity painted on it. I think it's my favorite.
Then next Christmas decoration hunt I went with some friends who were passing through and I took them to Dilli Haat. Dilli Haat is an amazing market. In the center of the market are food stalls with different food from all over Indian. You can choose which ever you like the best. The vendor stalls are also from all the different regions of India. They switch every 4-6 weeks. It's fun to go back every 6 weeks or so to see what's new. I foung some beautiful hand painted Christmas oranments from Kashmir. After making our way through Dilli Haat we went accross the street to INA Market to get the actual tree, lights, and the star.
Before Dilli Haat I had gone to the German Christmas Market with my shopping buddies, Kathleen and Vicki. It was a bit of a disappointment for me. I was expecting it to me like an actual Christmas Market in Germany and it wasn't. I didn't even have any German food=( Besides this bit of disappoinment I did have some very cool experiences there. I ran into several of my Japanese students. I got to speak in both German and Hindi. I found some cool cookbooks for Indian friendly German cooking that is written in both English and German. I was able to find some gifts and a few ornaments. The best surprise was at an NGO booth. I noticed it because it is based in the community where my language helper lives. I found out that they are the people who run the different classes that my language helper attends like sewing and photography. I got to meet my language helper's sweing teacher. They were selling cards with some of the pictures taken by the photography class on them. I was curoius and looked through a set. The last card was a picture of two of my language helper's brothers and her counsin in front of her house. I was excited to find her name on the back of the card as the photographer. I bought her a pack of the cards and myself a pack.
My friend Renee joined me for my last market stop. We went to an exporter's shop who only opens to the public for the month of December. Ususally, they only export their things to the States, Canada, and Europe. It was like walking into a Christmas Wonderland. We both stopped dead in our tracks once we reached the bottom of the stairs that lead to the shop and audible said together, "WOW!" Appearantly, most people have that reaction. While we were there everyone else that came in did the same thing. I bought some more ornaments and a tree skirt with matching stocking. I made sure to buy matching ornaments to send home to each of my family members. They loved them! I even found a lighthouse for my grandmother (she collects light houses). I also found some Chrismons (ornaments which our symbols of X). There will be no running around next year. This is the place to go if I need anything else.
After I got everything I needed to put the tree up and decorate it. It's no fun doing it yourself. My friend Ringen came over and we played Christmas music and decorated the tree together. Here's the end result....
I almost forgot the stocking and matching tree skirt....
It took going to 2 Christmas Markets (American and German) and about 5 other shops/markets to find what I needed. First on my list was to get the things I needed for my Advent wreath. I was able to find the candles and some green garland and small poinsettia blossoms to decorate them at Khan Market. It's a major expat oriented market with lots of export items. It also has the price tag to match. They have a special festival shop which changes what it carries for every possible major festival for all the major religions here and non-religious holidays.
After the Advent Wreath was ready then I set out for ornaments and a tree. My first Christmas Market was the American Women's Association held at the American Embassy School. I had fun hanging out with my friends Kathleen, Vivki, and Ringen. We ran into lots of people we knew. It was like taking a trip to the States for the day. We enjoyed grilled hamburgers, fries, and yummy desserts. I got my first ornament as a gift from Vicki.
I have a friend here who works with people who are HIV+. Her NGO tries to help these people find different ways to generate money and support themselves. This Christmas they made ornaments. I was able to buy my first ornaments from this group. I bought two packets. Each packet came with a ball ornament, a bell, and some large and small stars. The balls are paper mache. The bells and stars are carved out of wood. One of the ball ornaments has a nativity painted on it. I think it's my favorite.
Then next Christmas decoration hunt I went with some friends who were passing through and I took them to Dilli Haat. Dilli Haat is an amazing market. In the center of the market are food stalls with different food from all over Indian. You can choose which ever you like the best. The vendor stalls are also from all the different regions of India. They switch every 4-6 weeks. It's fun to go back every 6 weeks or so to see what's new. I foung some beautiful hand painted Christmas oranments from Kashmir. After making our way through Dilli Haat we went accross the street to INA Market to get the actual tree, lights, and the star.
Before Dilli Haat I had gone to the German Christmas Market with my shopping buddies, Kathleen and Vicki. It was a bit of a disappointment for me. I was expecting it to me like an actual Christmas Market in Germany and it wasn't. I didn't even have any German food=( Besides this bit of disappoinment I did have some very cool experiences there. I ran into several of my Japanese students. I got to speak in both German and Hindi. I found some cool cookbooks for Indian friendly German cooking that is written in both English and German. I was able to find some gifts and a few ornaments. The best surprise was at an NGO booth. I noticed it because it is based in the community where my language helper lives. I found out that they are the people who run the different classes that my language helper attends like sewing and photography. I got to meet my language helper's sweing teacher. They were selling cards with some of the pictures taken by the photography class on them. I was curoius and looked through a set. The last card was a picture of two of my language helper's brothers and her counsin in front of her house. I was excited to find her name on the back of the card as the photographer. I bought her a pack of the cards and myself a pack.
My friend Renee joined me for my last market stop. We went to an exporter's shop who only opens to the public for the month of December. Ususally, they only export their things to the States, Canada, and Europe. It was like walking into a Christmas Wonderland. We both stopped dead in our tracks once we reached the bottom of the stairs that lead to the shop and audible said together, "WOW!" Appearantly, most people have that reaction. While we were there everyone else that came in did the same thing. I bought some more ornaments and a tree skirt with matching stocking. I made sure to buy matching ornaments to send home to each of my family members. They loved them! I even found a lighthouse for my grandmother (she collects light houses). I also found some Chrismons (ornaments which our symbols of X). There will be no running around next year. This is the place to go if I need anything else.
After I got everything I needed to put the tree up and decorate it. It's no fun doing it yourself. My friend Ringen came over and we played Christmas music and decorated the tree together. Here's the end result....
I almost forgot the stocking and matching tree skirt....
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