Last night I had a conversation with my taxi driver. This is rate because I usually don't engage men in conversation here unless I know them well. Conversations with taxi drivers usually go like this:
Driver: Madam, where you from?
Me: US
Driver: Very nice. How long you been in India?
Me: Three years
Driver: Oh yes, very nice. That's why you speak such good Hindi (whatever, my Hindi is crap!) You married?
Me: (ummm, do I lie or not...usually lie) Yes. (if no)
Driver: How many kids madam? (why not madam? something wrong?)
Me: (lie continues...) 2 (father is arranging it or my older sister is not yet married)
Driver: Oh, very nice. Boys? (oh, good....conversation ends)
Me: (wanting conversation to end and to make a point) both girls
Driver: oh, so sorry madam. (conversation ends)
Last night was different. It started with an apology for being late (huh?). Then he complimented my Hindi (like I said, whatever). He never asked if I was married. He asked what I did here. Really? Then began talking about his daughter who just took her 12th boards and how he had high hopes for her. What? A father bragging about his daughter? Who are you? In fact, he said he was very proud of his girls. He just wished they could live a better life but life here is really difficult for women. I asked him how many kids he had...4 (3 girls, 1 boy). He said he told his wife 3 girls were sufficient but the wife insisted on trying for a boy because of pressure from the rest of the family particularity her father (which he could of meant his father/her father-in-law). The father said there would be no honor for her without producing a boy. The driver said he didn't care. Really?
Then came the reality...
The driver told his wife that they would only try again if and only if they had an ultrasound and aborted the baby if it was a girl. The wife agreed. They were relieved when it showed it was a boy. Of course, they had several done by different doctors to confirm. He explained that he loved his daughters but it was difficult to care for them. The cost of making sure they were cared for properly was just too great to have another one. He truly believed that it was better for her to die than to be brought into the world and not be able to cared for properly. For the first time, I could see where he was coming from.
Though I don't agree, I am starting to see how getting rid of girls and even those with special needs could be seen as a better option than for them to live here. Life is simply hard here and even worse for females and those with special needs. Sparing them would be a warped sense of compassion, especially for the driver who kept and cares for THREE girls.
